Reflecting upon Change

Slowly, slowly, slowly. That is how my writing style is changing. Ever so slowly, I pick up new tricks and attempt to apply them in my academic life. I am not upset that it is quite the arduous journey, though. In my life, change has been my constant nemesis. No matter what activity or state of mind I was in, change was not welcome. New foods weren’t tried, new friends were never usually made…regardless of what I had, I didn’t want to try anything new. So, in a way this e-portfolio and the subsequent one are my attempts at changing who I am as a writer. In this paragraph alone one might sense my personality, which as I mentioned in the previous e-portfolio, never used to find its way onto paper.

Sure, I was writing the paper, but I never was in the paper. Stephen King, Dean Koontz, and Patricia Cornwell have their own styles and personalities; when you read their stories one knows that they are the author. With me, that is not the case. Like Andrew said, he wrote academically and to get an A. I identify with him totally. My thought process: I am constantly told I need good grades; if I write a certain way (academically) I get good grades; I should write this way. That would be good if my goals in life and school consisted of only achieving high marks. However, that’s not true. Sure, I can write well, but many people can be taught how to “write well”. I want to write using my own style. Ideally, readers would say, “that’s by Chris Linhorst”. If someone knows me, my lack of a writing style would seem strange. I’m smart, but I’m not an academic. I place humor into every situation, and use jokes to handle hard times. It seems that the journey towards good grades takes up my thought process. That’s why this introduction to my second e-portfolio reads like a reflection: because it is.

While writing reflections for my Foundations of Education class, I discovered my voice in the page. After re-reading them, I knew I was the author; it seemed obvious. Apparently, when grades aren’t on the line, I write semi-causally, like how I speak. That realization intrigued me. I wondered how I could transfer reflection-type writing onto more academic papers. I concluded that sometimes, a purely academic paper can be beneficial. If you need good grades and writing a certain way will help to acquire them, then I’m all for it. That thought then led to another: writing academically is not a problem if one can switch to writing that features one’s voice and style. For example, writing every class essay the same way to get a good grade isn’t entirely bad if I can then switch it up and write an essay that accurately conveys my message while sounding like me. I am sorely lacking in that department.

Like I wrote earlier, I want to learn how to write well and in different ways. We’ve talked about experienced writers using different methods to pre-write, revise, and actually write the paper. Those are the writers I want to emulate. I am confident in my memory when I say that for every single essay I have written since freshman year of high school, unless my teacher gave specific instructions on how to start or write a paper, they have all been done the same way. Every. Single. Time. Looking back (and hopefully not into my future writings), I find this a tad absurd. What am I learning if everything stays the same? If I am to battle my unwillingness to change, I feel that writing should be one of the main battlegrounds. This reflection/introduction is here as proof that I want to learn and want to change, and hopefully the rest of this e-portfolio provides practical evidence.